oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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