fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Well I just put wine in my tea
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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