drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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