had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
