I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize