ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
