You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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