i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
