yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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