I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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