Pregnant stripper...not hot.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
