Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
