okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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