I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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