hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
