then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
