Jerry, you need to find god
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize