My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
