Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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