I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize