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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.

  (1-978): View more from Massachusetts

  woah 15?

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i know! what is this dateline?

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.

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• (631): View more from New York

  The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...

  (703): View more from Virginia

  They grow up so fast.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....

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• (940): View more from Texas

  I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.

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