if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
this just has baby written all over it
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
