You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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