I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
