I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
