he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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