she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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