you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
