No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
