My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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