I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
We need to rekindle our bromance
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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