The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Randomize
