Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize