tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
