sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
