Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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