Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize