is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
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you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
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Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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