I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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