he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
