bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
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He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
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Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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