i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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