We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
