So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
