so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
So squirting runs in the family.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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