Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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