No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Vodka?
Forever.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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