Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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