Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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