No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
