Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
