I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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