I just threw up on my dentist
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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