Can Purell be used as lube?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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