if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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