Jerry, you need to find god
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
