Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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