every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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