Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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