Are we in a gay sports bar?
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I can't turn off my feet"
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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