I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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